FEW ORGANISMS CAN ASEXUALLY REPRODUCE...

...AND NONE OF THEM ARE WOMEN!

I get tired. Tired of reading about how women are such hoochie-mamas these days. About how women are selfish and we all want something for nothing. About how women want "free birth control" because they can't keep their knees together.

Babies aren't the result of asexual reproduction. Babies don't appear as if by magic. Babies aren't brought by the stork.

Men have as big a stake in the event of pregnancy as women.

But no one mentions that.

There are several categories of men, and many men who can't be easily categorized. Think about it:

• A responsible family man realizes the limits of his (or their) earnings, generally, and has an idea of how many children he (or they) can afford. This category can be broken down further; a family man who is also devoted to his wife, or one who is not, a group that can be divided further into those who remain in a relationship with the mother, and those who do not.
• Any disaffected dad soon realizes that parenting doesn't get easier from outside the home. And he is heartbroken because he was left, or begins to regret doing the leaving. And it's expensive. 
• Deadbeat dads are a category worth bringing up. There are plenty of them, though they haven't been mentioned in regard to the birth control debate. This category can be further split into those who flee the state each time a garnishment order is placed on earnings, and those who don't flee, and can't imagine how they will dig themselves out of the hole they've created by getting in arrears of child support. Oh, and some of them manage to work for cash, screwing the woman who raises his child, the child, and the taxpayers who fund the government to take care of the kids and help support the mother.

If you want to talk about welfare moms, you should be willing to understand that it is also the obligation of fathers to take responsibility for the children they create. It's high time we take a good look at the consequences that result when a father won't be a dad.

Fatherless children are likelier to live in poverty. Single mothers often rely heavily on public assistance and social welfare programs. These humans, these mothers and children, bear the stigma of "our" rage at the "takers," those who don't take "personal responsibility" for themselves, and who take advantage of us "decent, hard-working, taxpaying citizens."

Single mothers don't spring into life without the help of the man who planted his seed.

SO I SAY, MEN HAVE AS BIG A STAKE IN THE EVENT OF PREGNANCY AS WOMEN.

Characterizing all women who believe in the importance of easy-to-get, affordable contraception as sluts really isn't doing much good for the overall relationship between the sexes. Slut-shaming is all around us, and it is now being directed at women because they express concern about losing control of their reproductive health and choices. No, not overtly and IN YOUR FACE like... Worse. It's sneaky and passive aggressive instead.

A friend I really like asked me what the big deal is that Hobby Lobby won't "cover" 4 of the 20 "FDA approved" methods of birth control mandated under the ACA. He said women want it both ways: we want the birth control and we want somebody else to pay for it. He made other comments, none of them a direct insult. He just knows that I, and women who think like I do, am wrong morally, logically, emotionally. The words "crying" and "selfish" came up, but not directed AT me. The argument that religious views are more right and valuable than the way the left sees things was mentioned. The assertion that birth control IS affordable tied back to the selfish characterization. The fact that he'd paid out of pocket for his vasectomy was brought up repeatedly, to contrast with how unrealistic and selfish women are. Or to illustrate how things "should" be done. It was stated that a woman doesn't have to keep her job if she is so mistreated...

But aren't all those arguments pretty self-righteous, instead of realistic? Aren't they short-sighted, and especially unforgiving of women? Don't they completely leave out the importance of men in every possible way, from the sex to the parenting and financial stability of the child? Don't such arguments punish women for allowing men to have sex with us? If women are sluts who get pregnant and just take from society, what are the men who don't contribute to the financial health of the mom and child? What should they be called?

Since men have as big a stake in the event of pregnancy as women do, why aren't men speaking up about how access to affordable birth control benefits them, too?

Men, too, benefit from sharing in the reproductive choices that affect the union of marriage and the health of the family. Men do better when they have a say about how many children the family can afford. And single men who actively participate in being sure they don't become daddies definitely benefit from affordable, available birth control.

So who wants to start talking about how much MEN need birth control, too?

Image: Asexual Reproduction in Plants Wikispaces.com

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You Can't Be Pro-Life AND Anti-Women's Healthcare

(Photo courtesy of Flickr.)

Abortion has become an issue fraught with venom. People who are against the medical procedure moralize and want to penalize abortion providers, as well as those who have the procedure.  On the other side, Americans who want to continue to allow this Constitutionally protected procedure find themselves demonized by the right.

One would think we have no alternative to abortion for preventing pregnancy.

Aha!  Birth control is a reliable way to prevent pregnancy, but it also has come under the scrutiny of the right.  Historically, the Catholic Church opposed ANY use of birth control. In modern times however, even the Church has taken a less rigid stance, choosing instead to just keep mum.

At the heart of the issue today are the ultra right wing Christian corporatists, who view it as their right to dictate what treatments can be covered by insurance.  Apparently, by virtue of employing you, the Hobby Lobby lobby feels entitled to make your reproductive health choices for you.

Meanwhile, affordable, accessible birth control becomes more and more a thing of the past for some women.  In rural east Texas for example, the right wing 'minding-your-business-for-you' faction has shuttered every single provider of reproductive health services for low-income women, just because SOME of the services they provide relate to abortion.  What about cancer screenings?  What about pre-natal care?  What about a place to pick up free condoms, for that matter?

Places that allowed themselves to moralize away health care for women are likely to see huge increases in their state budget in the coming years. It is also likely they will be unhappy with the consequences of their own actions.  

Funds will be needed for:

• Additional pre-natal care, and labor and delivery costs;
• Feeding additional kids and larger families;
• Welfare programs, in lieu of significant improvement of employment opportunities;
• Child care for the lucky women who manage to get a minimum wage job, since she won't be able to pay the bill;
• Public education, and more schools and teachers; and
• Health care for children.

All of these areas will become more urgent as some states come face to face with their decision to make women’s health care unavailable to millions.  Women with advanced breast and cervical cancer diagnoses will come to the state for help, too late in receiving a diagnosis to make treatment affordable or effective. Advanced disease is very costly to care for, as common sense tells us.

States who failed women are going to see what their actions have brought to bear.  Failing to care for women is mean and unforgivable….and it will end up blowing budgets in many states across America.

It's a fact: